If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
