i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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