i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
