No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
