need another drink. this is the easiest way
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
