never play flip cup with pint glasses
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize