she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
