I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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