4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
More tranny stories later!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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