Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That's intense
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
