Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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