I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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