The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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