i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
