I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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