it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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