If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
