So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
babies were throwing up all over the place
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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