i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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