with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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