This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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