Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
