In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
