i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
