Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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