Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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