It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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