I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
