sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
