he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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