You can't motorboat a personality
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
