Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
