My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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