my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize