I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
