have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
