Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
