Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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