Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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