his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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