covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
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Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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