some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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