I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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