So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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