Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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