I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
