Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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