i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Boobs speak an international language.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
