Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There r osticjed everywhere
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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