He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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