I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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