Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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