I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
