Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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