sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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