He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
