I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize