it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
