It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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