BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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