i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Naked. naked and bneed help.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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