i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
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Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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