i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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