Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
