she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
