You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
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