Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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