So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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