You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
