they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
