He asked to "fluff my boner.."
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
